Last week the Lord asked me to fast. At first I wasn’t really sure what He wanted this to look like or what He had for me in it, but it was not long before He began to speak and give purpose into the experience that it became.
I have been praying for months now for the Lord to sustain me, to be my everything, to make up all that I am in order for me to be totally dependent on Him, but I have not made any effort for the Lord to really change anything. He then reminded me, how can He be everything if I don’t give Him a chance?
Here’s what I’m learning:
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I am completely and totally reliant on God. Within myself I am so weak and I lack the strength to even function. The longer I went without food I realized this more. As I became more and more weak I needed to depend on more of His strength to sustain me. I am totally helpless outside of His presence.
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In being emptied totally physically and spiritually, I was then able to be totally filled again with the Lord. We have to make space for God to come in. I can’t just ask Him for Himself and expect Him to be able to come if I am being totally filled by the world because there is no space for Him in my life. I first have to empty myself, surrender, and then He has space and the ability to fill me with Himself. 1 Corinthians 6:19 says that our bodies are temples and therefore we must honor God with our body. I am reminded of the story where Jesus went into the temple where the people had made it into more of a market than a temple. They were selling goods and living normal daily life in a place that was created for holiness, not for normality. Jesus was filled with anger and drove the people out because they were defiling the place that was meant for holiness. This is exactly how we should be viewing our bodies. I need to be so attentive to what is going on inside my body and mind, and if there is anything that is not honoring to God or composed of holiness, I have to immediately drive it out in order to replace it with the presence of God. No one would have been able to truly enter into the presence of God in a loud and busy temple and in the same way, I cannot have a true relationship with God in a body that is full of distractions of the world.
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In fasting, the Lord was able to take me into a greater measure of faith. Every time I asked Him to sustain me and to give me strength to do a task or to get through the day, He showed up. He was present every time I needed Him and in the times I was able to just worship Him and rest in His presence. Never once did He leave me. I was reminded of the story where Jesus shows up to a place where the disciples are trying to cast a demon out of a person, and have been trying for some time, and immediately Jesus is able to cast it out. Obviously, the disciples were amazed because they were trying and trying and Jesus did it with such ease. So they asked Him, “why could we not cast it out?” Jesus responds, “these kinds can only be driven out by prayer and fasting.” (Mark 9:28-29). The Lord has to increase my faith by trial, it is not going to increase if I am always living in comfort. Where would be the space for growth there?
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The joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10). Every time I asked the Lord for His joy, I was strong. When walking in joy, we are able to live in much more peace and trust, not needing to worry about anything, but just enjoying the Lord and the life He is providing, whatever may come. Without joy, I am weak and fragile and cannot function.
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In allowing the Lord and nothing else to sustain me, I am able to do far beyond my expectation or comprehension. Originally, I was going to just fast for one day because I thought I wouldn’t be able to make it beyond that. Then one day turned into two, which then turned into three. I’m learning that when I rest in the Lord and allow Him to make up all that I am, the capabilities He gives me are expanded and the Spirit is then able to move beyond my comprehension. It makes so much sense that Jesus went into the wilderness and fasted for 40 days and relied totally on the Spirit of God to sustain Him before even beginning His ministry. He had to first be totally dependent on God, and then was able to be used by Him in miraculous ways. Nothing is different for me. I cannot be used by Him without first being a part of Him and trusting fully in the power and life that He is able to provide. Only then, can He work in and through me.
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Community is vital. My teammate, Vivian, and I fasted together for the duration of the time, and it would have been so much more difficult without her beside me. We were able to lean on each other during our weakest times and pray continually for one another. We were seeking Christ as one body, able to uplift and love each other in difficult times, and worship Him together in the joys and the ways He showed up in both of our lives. I realized in this that trials are not meant to be walked alone. The Church was created for a reason and the purpose is to love and help the members that are in need and then get to worship Christ throughout His faithfulness in those trials. We are not meant to walk this life alone, but are meant to actually need other people. I was convicted of all the times I have chosen not to be vulnerable, thinking it would protect me and that it would just be easier for me and everyone else if I walked whatever I was struggling with alone. But in reality, if I had chosen to let down my guard and allow people in, it would have been way easier of a load to carry, and then when the Lord did show up and bring healing, I would have been able to worship and thank the Lord with people and it would have ministered not only to me, but to them as well.
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God is present even in the smallest of moments and struggles of our lives. There were countless times over the three days when I just needed a little Jesus or when the hunger was physically making me sick and every time, when I asked, He was right there with me. Not once did He fail me, not once was I unable to do something, but He continually sustained me and cared for me even in the most obscure and tiny moments.
Fasting for three days was one of the most physically, mentally, and spiritually challenging things I have ever done, but also the most rewarding. I was able to meet with God in ways I have never experienced before and truly rely on him to fill me and His Word to give me the nutrients I need to live a normal day on the Race. I thoroughly loved it, pain and all.
My challenge to you is to think about what ways is the Lord trying to bring you into a closer relationship with Him. What is He wanting to show you about His character and what do you need to do to make space for Him to be able to show up? Are there things you need to give up for a time to learn to be reliant on Him instead? Just some food for thought. 🙂
Thanks for reading!
Beth
I love your heart to walk as close to Jesus as you can the way you are documenting so many of the important things He is teaching you! The picture of our lives as compared to Jesus cleaning out the temple is very meaningful to me. Thank you for so clearly expressing your thoughts! Love you!!
Your experience in fasting is and will be life-changing as you experience the presence and power of the Lord. I am praying that you develop a relationship with His Holy Spirit that will allow you to draw from His strength and wisdom everyday. We encourage you to continue to hear His voice. Love, your Grandad and Grandmother