There are just not enough words in my mind or vocabulary to sum up my time on the World Race.
As our time on the Race comes to a rapid close, all the memories over the past nine months are starting to impact me a little deeper. All the laughing until we can’t breathe, the times we worshipped and truly met with our Savior, the tears and struggles, so many hugs, exploring the woods in Georgia or Ecuador. All the washing of dishes, the new friends we met, card games, all the rice, deep talks, new revelations about the heart of the Father, and baptisms. The new perceptions of ministry and serving people in general, birthday celebrations, missing our families, sunrises and sunsets, and jumping up and down because of pure joy and freedom in the Lord. I can hardly even begin to scratch the surface of all I have experienced the last nine months. Trying to comprehend the ways the Lord has become infinitely more real to me or the forever friendships He has crafted through this time seems impossible and I’m grateful.
As I think back over my entire race the one word that continually stands out to me is faithful. I am in awe of how faithful God has been to me throughout this time and redeemed my interpretation of His faithfulness throughout the entirety of my life. Through fundraising, team changes, staying in Gainesville, feedback, teaching English, sicknesses, failed plans, building roofs, Samaritan’s Purse, and Guatemala, the Lord has been totally faithful throughout it all. He walked day in and out with me and held my hand through everything that happened. He has shown me where He was holding my hand even before the Race when I couldn’t see Him in the moment. He has consistently comforted me through every situation and walked with me in being far from my family for so long, in my own brokenness, in loneliness, in discomfort of a new place, in not being able to sleep, and in leaving places and people that I love. He has never left me and never will. And because I now know without a doubt that He truly is faithful, that allows me to be faithful to Him. There’s no going back now! I get to continually choose Him for the rest of my life knowing full well that He will choose me too. I get to walk in communion with Him, in a relationship where He loves me and I love Him back. It is beautiful, free and marriage.
Through this time, the Lord has changed my perception of His character. He has spoken into the lies I had been believing about Him for my entire life and turned it totally around, with me now knowing the truth of who He is and what He wants for me. He then changed my perception of my identity as His daughter. I now know and believe that I am firstly His and He calls me valued, beautiful, free and has given me a specific purpose. And He has changed my idea of serving people, of friendship, and of ministry. It is all about His people. It’s about His Church whether that’s in the backseat of an Uber or sitting around a campfire or in a tiny house made out of metal walls and a dirt floor or on top of a volcano. He just longs for relationship. That’s all. It is not about the production or the money or the way it is viewed in the media or how emotional the experience is, but it is about His glory and how we can display it. Ministry is loving people. That’s it. It can look like praying for people as you walk around, or raking someone’s yard, or teaching English to some kids, or sharing the gospel with a woman with a broken foot, or buying lunch for your teammate, or picking tomatoes, or buying snacks from the tienda to support the family that owns it, or worshiping on top of a volcano. It is all for Him, there’s nothing else.
As we prepare to leave this community and go home in less than two short weeks, I know my life will never look the same. As the Lord has pursued me in new ways, it has given me opportunity for me to pursue others in new and deeper ways. He loves me so that I can love others. I don’t know yet what He has for me in the next season of life or how He will use me after the Race, but I do know that He will continue to be faithful. I know that the things I have learned and experienced and struggled with and loved will not be for nothing. I know that He will use all that I am and have become in whatever way He sees as most beneficial for the continuation of building the Kingdom both in my life and in the lives He allows me to touch. He will be faithful in continuing to bring freedom and joy wherever I go and will lead me in His time to whatever is next for me.
I am beyond thankful for this entire experience no matter how hard or exhausting or overwhelming it was at times. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The relationship that the Lord has brought me into with Him through all that I’ve experienced is one that I know will only grow deeper and closer for the rest of my life. The friendships I have made with my squad are like no other and the community we have created has shown me new depths of the Father’s heart and brought me into new vulnerability and joy I have never experienced before. As each of us move forward and on with our lives, the things we’ve experienced together will be a part of our hearts, bonding us in an unexplainable connection beyond my understanding. My heart breaks a little every time I think about leaving this family that I love so dearly. I am overwhelmed by the way the Lord has blessed our friendships and drawn us close to His heart as individuals and as a church.
Please forgive the random and jumbled thoughts of this blog. My mind and heart are overwhelmed with emotions and memories and it’s slightly chaotic at this point. Leaving this season of life is about to be the one of the hardest parts of the Race. But I’m thankful. There’s only more to come. From glory to glory.
All I can do is praise the Lord for all He has done in and through me these past nine months. He is holy and strong and perfect and kind and beautiful and faithful. Thank you God for radically changing my life and for all you’ve done, and all you’ll continue to do through this experience of the World Race.
